Becky Jane (puppysmuggler) wrote,
Becky Jane

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I... have... that... knowledge!

I, in my secret laboratory, have discovered the recipe for the softest, fluffiest, hardest-to-get-out-of bed EVAR. It has taken months of research, garage saling, and thrift store-scouring, but I have done it.

The process is as follows (taken directly from field notes):

FIND and ACQUIRE the following essential ingredients:

2 comforters - $2
egg crate-style foam pad - free
super-deluxe crop-circle patterned foam pad - $5
"mattress protector" cotton pad sheet thing - $9
mattress taken from behind furniture store - free
bed frame - free from mom's garage
bed slats - free (scrap wood stolen from re-roofing project)
down mattress pad - $10 at thrift store
down comforter - $5 at garage sale

Wash everything in giant washing machine at the laundry mat - $10 (includes drying)

Clear a space in your tiny bedroom
Put together bed frame, attempt to put slats in
Go outside and cut 1 inch off all slats
Put slats in bed
Put crappy old mattress in bedframe
Cover mattress with (IN ORDER)
2 old comforters
2 foam pads
down pad
Wrap up top 5 layers with the "mattress protector" to form a vaguely bed-shaped layer of feathery wonder
Cover top "mattress" with a fitted sheet
Make your bed, not forgetting to use the down comforter
Lay down and never get back up ever again. Ever.

Total cost: $41
Total estimated time: 8 months.
I'll leave the "priceless" line to YOU.
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