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Friday, January 30th, 2004
7:05a - the worst day of my life
Yesterday I threw up, got blue toilet cleanser all over myself and my bathroom, got secured in my quarters for 24 hours (I'm sick) got HUGE blisters, bonked my head, oh and the icing on the cake... My dad died of a heart attack.

I'm so in shock right now, I don't know what to do. I love my dad so much, I've never even thought about what I'd do without him out there somewhere for me to call and say "hey, do you remember..."

My dad was not macho, never was and never wanted to be. I was never one of those kids to boast "my dad can beat up your dad." Still, my dad could kick any other dad's ass in the "kicking ass" department. He read stories and did all the voices, he could remember exactly where he was, what he was doing, and what day it was the first time he heard a particular song; yet was constantly losing his car keys. He cried when my dog died. He did the "macho" thing and put himself in rehab and actually got better when his alcoholism raged out of control, he beat it. My dad had the weirdest, most contageous laugh I've ever heard. He flew from Saipan to see me for one day when I graduated bootcamp.

I will never know his equal.
I love you, Daddy, and I miss you so much it hurts.


current mood: crushed

(15 words of the day | scream real loud)

7:12a - For my Father
May God bless and keep you always,
May your wishes all come true,
May you always do for others
And let others do for you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous,
May you grow up to be true,
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you.
May you always be courageous,
Stand upright and be strong,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,
Forever young, forever young,
May you stay forever young.


current mood: distressed

(1 word of the day | scream real loud)

12:23p - ug.
I cried because I heard a Bob Dylan song while I was putting on my makeup.

Fuck this shit, I'm off to drown my sorrows in material purchases, to be followed in a few hours by many many margaritas. Jimmy Buffet can't be all wrong, can he?

Thank you to everyone who has sent their condolances. To any of you in the Washington/Oregon area, Dad's funeral is this coming Saturday in Sequim. I sure wouldn't mind some company.

Peace out.


current mood: indescribable

(8 words of the day | scream real loud)


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