December 12th, 2003

just me

fucking a, man.

Why is it that whenever I find something to make me happy, I just want more? I feel as if I'm forever in search of something that I already had and am trying to get back because I didn't appreciate it enough the first time around. No matter what I do, or what choices I make, I hurt myself or worse, somebody I love, and I end up wondering what would have happened if only I'd gone with choice "c."
I'm having the time of my life, but at the same time I feel like the scum of the earth. I don't understand. How can I be happy and utterly miserable at the same time?
  • Current Music
    Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal